Its been a while...

Its been awhile.

Mainly exhausted with kids being sick and dealing with some body fatigue and weakness.

I've noticed if I eat a small candy bar or something I start to shake and my heart starts to have palpitations. I hope I'm not starting to get insulin issues.

I've lost a few pounds. I hate this. I dont feel like myself.

Its rough having generalized anxiety. I sometimes feel like the weight of thr world is on my shoulders...but is it? Or is it just me not dealing well with how I feel? Is this something I should practice not being anxious for or should I be anxious? Anxiety is supposed to be the way a brain tells your consciousness if we should be concerned or run the flight or fight response. But someone with generalized anxiety disorder its all f'ed up. Sometimes metaphorically i don't feel like I know what up is vs down. Or down vs up. Then if you reach the ability to be aware of your quirks...but are having a hard time controlling it...are you failing? I know it becomes super frustrating because I know im likely being anxious for no real reason...other than my brain forcing myself to battle my anxieties that I had 24/7 as a child and teenager. I've battled these feelings for 2 decades now. Trying to tell myself to be chill. Being anxious and on the verge of fearful is NOT helping me.

Am I rambling now? Yes, for sure.